Baby Oliver

Hitting Highs and Lows Without Moving

In 2012, after eight years of wedded bliss my husband and I finally decided it was time to have a baby.  Or babies since my husband is an identical twin, we were hoping to have two and “get it over with”.  We have just purchased a house in a nice, suburban neighborhood, my husband’s job was allowing me to start my own business and we were financially, physically, mentally, emotionally ready to expand our family beyond our little Pomeranian Prada.

Around November of 2012 I stopped administering the NuvaRing and we began trying.  Now, we are both overachievers, we were still pretty young and in tip top physical shape so we thought “this ain’t no thang” we’ll get pregnant within the month.

Every month I would think that THIS was the month that I finally felt something, a little butterfly in my belly, a little nausea in the morning, a little late period – every little thing seemed like a sign of SUCCESS!  And every month after a giddy trip to CVS, the pregnancy test would always show a negative result wether it was the dreaded “Not Pregnant”, single pink line, single black line – however the results were shown, they were always negative.

I consider myself a pretty strong person – people always comment on how strong and unfazed by adversity I am but this was truly one of the toughest things I had to face.  After about 4 months of trying (this puts us at about March 2013) we decided to go see our doctor.  Just our regular doctor who we loved and trusted.  She shared with us her struggle to conceive – she was on her fifth year and she was about 43 years old.  Looking at this woman – a successful doctor, beautiful and smart and in excellent shape with access to the best of medical procedures and probably financially able to afford any treatment she desired – and she couldn’t make it work.  This really made me sad – not for me at this time but for her.  I couldn’t help but wonder how life was fair that couples like her and her boyfriend and me and my husband, couples who could provide for a child financially and emotionally couldn’t have kids and there were so many abusive, negligent parents who didn’t have the funds to take care of children having two, four, six kids!  Not a healthy outlook but it really did seem true to me.  It was probably the frustration talking.

The doctor told us to go ahead and give it two or three more months and she suggested a ovulation kit as well as a thermometer to keep track of my body temperature.  Okay we thought – we will try this.  This was before we saw the price tags for an ovulation kit – are you kidding me?! $40 for an ovulation kit!  (I found that Amazon was the cheapest place to buy them.  Target was a second option but ONLY if you ordered online and had it shipped to a store / or FREE ship to your home.  Going INTO the store, the price was different – more expensive for some odd reason).

The ovulation kits were something I didn’t mind doing. Peeing on a stick once per day (try to do it the same time each day). We made it into a game – I would text my husband a SMILEY face if it was time to “do it” and a frowny face if it was just another night watching a movie and eating frozen pizza.

Personally I found the thermometer / temperature tracking was just TOO much to do.  But typing this I am remembering a handful of my friends who ONLY used their temperature and got pregnant!  SO choose your weapon – or do both.  Ovulation Kit and Temperature Tracking.  If you do the temperature tracking, make sure you get a Basal Thermometer.

This schedule went on for about six more months.  Around October 2013 – just about a YEAR after we started trying, we decided to finally see a fertility specialist.  Now – coming from someone who KNOWS – if you are having issues getting pregnant, go see a specialist RIGHT AWAY.  Don’t waste your time with fertility kits, thermometers, regular doctors, herbs, essential oils, stretches, diets, meditation, medication, vitamins, no – don’t do it.  Go see a professional RIGHT AWAY.  Oh Lordy, I wish someone would have given me that advice.  Actually I wish someone gave me the advice of “Have your kids when you are in your early twenties”.  Ya, that advice would have helped and given us more time.  But can’t live in the past.  So, please take this advice – have kids early on (it won’t ruin your career, it won’t make you undesirable, you will manage, you will find a way to manage).  If you are not getting pregnant after trying for 3 to 4 months just bite the bullet and see a fertility specialist.  Just go, do it, get it over with.

So after almost a year of trying (having less and less fun I may add), we finally went to see the Fertility Specialist.  And then another adventure began.  I’ll continue our journey in another post.